Purpose of healing Having degress in biology and law, I tend to view myself through the lens of a very skeptical, "logic oriented" person. So, it would probably come as a pretty big surprise to many of my friends and colleagues that I had even pursued pranic healing in the first place. I probably would not have done so, if it wasn't for a very strange set of circumstances. In November 2018, I found myself involved in my fifth rear-collision, a startling event that left me with more than two thousand dollars worth of damage to my (brand new) vehicle. I drive approximately thirty thousand miles per year, so while this seems ironic, it may simply be a product of likelihood over time (i.e. simple statistics over fate). I had already had my brake wear patterns examined to see if I had a tendency to brake too hard, and I did not. I had a few prominent concerns and curiosities after this fifth accident (aside from the financial and physical implications, which were mildly unpleasant). First, I had premonitions about the accident for about four weeks before it happened. Out of nowhere, I had started to "hear" a car slamming into me from behind almost every time I stopped at a light or stop sign. I tried to view them as a simple throw-back to an old case of PTSD, but they kept increasing in intensity instead of responding to my efforts. Second, for twenty-four hours after the accident, I couldn't so much as make a right turn out of a driveway without having an anxiety attack, always envisioning a massive freight truck slamming into my car on the drivers' side. I had never caused an accident, nor been broad-sided, so this was actually a non-linear way for my brain to address the trauma. Again, I tried to address this through deep breathing and other techniques, treating it as a flare of prior PTSD. I wasn't getting very far. For that first twenty-four hours, I was plagued with severe mood swings, anger and anxiety attacks strong enough to leave me in tears. Third, I had the feeling that there was something metaphysically "off" that kept bringing this experience into my life. Many biologists and attorneys would stop reading at the word "metaphysical," but then again, most of them wouldn't explain this kind of event without reference to "bad luck" either. Something told me to visit a local shop called The Mind's Eye, which offers aerial yoga classes and typical accouterments of the "New Age" lifestyle. Something told me they might have a modality that would help. I had responded well to things like yin yoga, EFT and acupuncture in the past, so my hopes were not misplaced. Method of healing I have to admit that I expected pranic healing to be more like reiki or even massage, as in "I thought they would touch you." I also thought that I would lie down. I thought that I might receive intermittent instructions through the process. None of this was true! I was guided to a reclining chair and offered a cloud-soft blanket and pillow. Rita, my healer, told me that I should lie back and close my eyes, but try to keep my palms outstretched in a receptive posture. She also told me that I would hear intermittent spritzing of salt water. There was a bucket on the floor partially filled with saltwater. She explained that this is where any negative energy would be disposed of. I told her she should have brought a bigger bucket. Finally, I leaned back, closed my eyes, let the soft music in the background lull me, and started to unwind. Curious, I peered at Rita from time to time, and saw her drawing shapes in the air, sometimes with a crystal. At intervals, she would grasp something invisible from the air and throw it into the bucket. Her motions were intentional and rhythmic, and left me with an inexplicable sense of ease. I started to realize that I was essentially signed up for an hour of non-motion and meditation, and tried to embrace it, letting go of the sense that "something" should be happening, or that "someone" should be doing something physical. For the next hour and fifteen minutes, I had nothing to do except sit and be, an act difficult enough for those that don't have PTSD. It got trippy. As mentioned above, I was having powerful recurring imagery of a driver's side collision when I walked in. These remained with me even after the session started. PTSD "flashes" are experienced as reality, almost like a hallucination. Although I knew that it was not happening, my body reacted as though it was in that present moment. About thirty minutes into the session, the imagery became truly intense, to the point where I had to stifle a scream. Then, I began to have a very realistic "daydream" about that particular accident, during which I experienced it with considerable detail...from the 1950s. My mind quickly transitioned to a funeral - my own - during which I was trying to comfort two teenage boys sitting in the front row - brothers. During this moment, there was no question that they were my children, and the grief and guilt I felt in that moment was real. I had an instant understanding: "You are afraid you will be killed in a car accident in this life, but you see? It is the past you are fearing. You were brought into this life so that you could heal." When I saw the two boys in the my mind, they were instantly and irreparably tied to two people in my own present life (that I often have some level of conflict or difficulty with, if only because of our close relationships.) After that moment, I couldn't recapture the thought of the car slamming into my driver's side window. I could still recognize the thought, but I couldn't see details or bring any emotional currency to it. Several moments after that, I was just overcome with sadness, grief, and disappointment. Shortly thereafter, the negativity passed and I felt completely and utterly at ease. This sense of ease didn't leave me for at least a week afterward, even through otherwise stressful or upsetting events (e.g. realizing that we had neglected to add rental insurance, realizing the repairs were going to take almost two weeks, and preparing for and cleaning up after the Thanksgiving Holiday.) I still can't recapture those powerful images of collision. My two cents. There are almost always logical explanations for many types of New Age healing methodologies. Perhaps I had a rapid improvement in my PTSD purely because I had interrupted its development by with what was essentially a super long, relaxing, meditation session shortly after the accident. Perhaps I had such powerful imagery solely as a symptom of PTSD, which often brings with it realistic nightmares and flashbacks, as well as sleep disruptions and feelings of dissociation. Perhaps I imagined being a mother in the 1950s simply because I've always had an affinity for that post-war era. Regardless, I feel better and I feel better because I had a pranic healing session. It's hard to argue with results, even those that arise purely from a placebo effect. What is most important to me is that there is no doctor I've ever encountered that would have taken me through this type of healing activity, despite its clear benefits. For this reason alone, I see value in these types of healers. If you choose to utilize pranic healing based on my experience, I wish you all the best and ask only that you do not completely forego any traditional medical treatment that will otherwise work to your ultimate benefit. Energy healing is an excellent companion, but not not always a worthy replacement. Shop this post
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Like many creative types, I was a died-in-the-wool night owl for much of my life. It's not that I didn't have a reverence for the quiet hours before sunrise, it's just that I preferred to reach them from the tail end of the previous night. The only time I recall awakening early on purpose in my youth was on family trips to our cabin up north, when my Dad liked to (jokingly) greet us at sunrise with pots and pans, yelling "Daylight in the Swamps!" I'm sure that it will shock you to find that this antic didn't exactly increase my enthusiasm for morning alarm clocks. Then, motherhood happened! It has taken a lot of effort to wrench my Circadian rhythm from the vice grips of late night novels and chai lattes, but I can honestly say that I now consider myself a morning person. This is what is looks like in the hours before I commence lawyering for the day, as well as a couple of the little niceties that make this whole endeavor possible. Alarm: 6:00 AM I keep my phone next to my bed on a windowsill because (thankfully) I'm not (yet) one of those people plagued by an addiction to my snooze button. On the days that I press "snooze," I am likely running an appreciable sleep deficit and do so with absolutely no apology. Since that happens rarely, I simply turn the alarm off on my phone and tiptoe into the living room for a glass of lemon water, often with one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and another of apple juice. This little potion seems to provide enough fuel for a workout. I workout in the dark, barefoot, in the clothes in which I slept. If you are looking for stylish post workout selfies, you won't find them on my Instagram or anywhere else. I feed my cat, get a little hydration, and then do one of the following workouts for ten to thirty minutes: (a) stationary bike; (b) barre; (c) yoga; (d) Tracy Anderson. None of these require so much exertion or movement that I need to turn the lights on to avoid collapsing into a tower of Legos from the night before. I've tried other kinds of workouts in the morning, and many of them are simply too much for my system. Packing lunches: 6:30 AM I'm a huge fan of meal prepping, but I'm not so dedicated that I manage both my own meals and that of my family. I like to take this little window of time in the morning to prepare my son's lunch. When I have adequate time and resources to do so, this task seems less of a chore and more of a relaxing little morning project. We tend to pack Bento Style lunches in a Planet Box. I love this style of lunchbox because it visually reminds me to be a bit well rounded. I try to pack a protein rich main course of some kind, with one fruit, one vegetable, one grain, one dairy, and one sugary treat. A common example would be a turkey sandwich with avocado and cheese on Ezekial bread, sliced baby carrots, an applesauce pouch, and a few pitted Medjool dates or raisins. He rarely eats all of the vegetables, but I defiantly pack them all the time, because I believe that the mere sight of vegetables will somehow adhere to the synapses in his subconscious brain, leading him to be a healthier diner when he grows up. Please feel free to check back in twenty years to see how this hypothesis worked out. Making breakfast: 6:45 AM I only rarely drink coffee. I'm partial to cappuccino but also to being kept awake for eighteen hours straight off of even a nominal amount of espresso. The only beverage I actually enjoy this early in the morning is almond milk. I'm a creature of absolute habit, so breakfast is always one of the following: (a) smoothie with 1/2 frozen banana, 1/2 c. frozen berries, 1 bunch of kale or spinach, 1/2 scoop of vegan protein powder, 2 dates, and 1 c. almond milk; (b) rolled oats with 2 tbsp. natural peanut butter, 1 tbsp. honey or maple syrup, 1/2 c. vegan protein powder and 1 c. almond milk, with sunflower seeds, unsweetened coconut flakes, diced pecans, or berries on top; or (c) avocado toast with chili flakes on Ezekiel bread. This is usually enough to get me through school drop off, my hour long commute to the office, and a few work related items before it's time for my routine 10 AM snack. Grooming: 7:00 AM I shower at night so that I can spend time in the morning on things other than panicking because I only have five minutes to dry my hair (like extra snuggles). In the morning, I don't wash my face with soap or water. Instead, I just sweep CaraVe micellar water across my skin and follow up with my favorite miracle antioxidant laden primer - Farsali's Unicorn Essence. Once that dries, I follow up with SunBum SPF 50 sunscreen every day. If I'm looking a little bit tired, I also like to use a nice eye cream during the day. I keep my make up light and my hair simple - you can read more about that here. I'm no beauty guru, but I'm the queen of getting "corporate office ready" in ten minutes or less! |
AuthorMoving through space in a sound mind and body. Archives
December 2020
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