Although most of us tend to think about adrenaline-laced adventures when we think about being fearless, I have found that this is a little bit misleading.  Most of us could be coaxed to climb mountains, hike across ravines,  or other challenging tasks with a bit of guidance and assurance that the proper equipment and emergency care would be available.  For most of us, fear is a much more insidious opponent, one that keeps us in unhealthy relationships by threatening us with loneliness, or in unfulfilling jobs by threatening us with insecurity, or from realizing our full potential by threatening us with rejection.  I genuinely feel that more people are afraid to simply speak their minds than afraid to hike Half Dome.  Most of us are not lying awake at night because we lack the courage to para-sail, but because we lack the courage to change, love, leave, age, let go, or accept.  We don't struggle because we lack the courage to swim with sharks, but because we lack the courage to be ourselves. 

It seems to me that most periods of deep divisiveness within our country stem from competing ideas about ethics, morality and values.   From our own deeply personal and internalized "rules" and expectations of behavior stem our worldviews.   Perhaps no cognitive feat announces the arrival of true adulthood more than the stunning realization that the deeply ingrained ideas that we have about what renders an action right or wrong is not shared by the rest of the world, and perhaps not even by most of the rest of the world.  To recognize the variance in humanity about what constitutes decent and appropriate or moral conduct is to truly appreciate the diversity of the human experience.  Those things condoned as criminal by some societies are celebrated by others, and vice versa.   Further, even among communities that generally share our views of ethics, difficulties arise constantly and in every facet of society: healthcare, business, law, politics, and even personal relationships.  How should we live? 

Whether we like it or not, there come times when we all must buckle down and simply complete what requires completion, whether that is studying for an important exam, committing to the next round of radiation, or running the next five miles.  At times like that, we can meet the limits of our inspiration or willpower.  Things that are exciting at the beginning are often less so later on.  Constraints on our behavior that seem manageable at first can seem challenging as time goes on.  Thankfully, we don't have to rely only on our limited wells of inspiration or willpower.  Instead, we can turn to discipline, a trait that can be honed and whose supply of endurance is nearly endless. 

I'm a firm believer in Pablo Picasso's famous quote about every child being an artist.  I have yet to encounter a child that hasn't dived right in at the chance to create something special out of anything from Play-doh to a pile of rocks and sticks.  Children all seem to have an innate sense of order, balance and beauty that is completely unique to them and their perspective.  For one child, a meticulously organized row of pennies might bring them joy, for others a splattered canvas covered in paint.  As adults, we often seem to forget about the myriad paths to self expression, settling instead for the limited vocabulary of words, text and the occasional emoji.  We seem to forget that movement is self expression and find fewer opportunities to dance around just for the joy of it.  We seem to forget that there is inherent value in creating works of art or literature, instead shelving these pursuits for others that make more money but perhaps create little happiness.  Today, I hope you take a few moments to think of the forms of expression that bring you the most fulfillment.  

So few things inspire compassion as much as travel.  I sometimes lament the fact that travel now seems to have morphed into something we do for invisible audiences, something to do to capture a worthy image for social media.  A lot of my travel through the world predated even Facebook, and I'm grateful for that fact.  With no invisible audience awaiting my reports back to home, I was able to fully immerse myself in other cultures, and completely redefine what it means to "have" a home, food, water, friends and family.  I once wandered down a dirt road in Costa Rica past a woman residing in a one bedroom wooden house with her four children.  In Belize, barefoot children chased after chickens beneath their home, a single room wooden structure on stilts, while their mother pumped water manually from the ground.  Still, compassionate for the less fortunate is the baseline of compassion - the easiest kind of compassion to muster.  True compassion requires love for all people and animals, even the ones we have never met.  If our compassion is restricted only to what is most immediate around us, we have not even begun to scratch its true potential.  

 The older I get, the easier I find it to maintain equanimity, particularly in the face of uncomfortable, upsetting or even dire circumstances.  A lot of this seems to stem from the simple collection of experiences.  Once you have overcome a circumstance that seemed terrible at the time, your definition of terrible becomes slightly altered.  Once you have had the benefit of time and hindsight, it becomes easier to see the blessings that came from hardship.  Calm isn't just something we seek during times of frenzy or challenges, it's something to find scattered throughout each day. 

There is such an onslaught of information each and every day that it can be difficult to wade through everyone else's opinions to reach our own truth.  Would we want to wear that coat if we hadn't just seen it on the back of someone attractive on Instagram?  Would we still want to get that graduate degree if we had never heard our parents' own aspirations for our career?  Would we show up to that fitness class if none of our friends were going to be there?  Would we vote for this person if we had never heard someone else's opinion favoring them? It's always useful to check in from time to time and ensure that we are living our lives from our own sense of what is valuable and important, instead of being led around by others all of the time.  

Many definitions for personal accountability exist, but at their core, they all seem to share a common theme of ownership.  A person who is truly accountable for their life owns their successes and mistakes; skills and shortcomings; and choices and consequences.  Instead of focusing blame on other people, or circumstances beyond their control, they step up to the plate, and actively acknowledge their role in how their life is playing out before their eyes.  Accountability can also mean the act of regularly checking in to confirm participation in any number of endeavors, whether a fitness program with daily goals or an effort to maintain sobriety.  I started with accountability because I think it forms the foundation of any attempt at self-improvement.